The things that i remember most are the brainwashing techniques they used on us the staff played audio tapes at every meal i can still hear the fucking tapes in my head saying tranquility over and over. The seminars were a whole other kind of torture “Accountability” was my least favorite i remember everybody beating towels with knots in them on the floor yelling and crying i just stopped and looked around and i couldn’t believe the amount of anger and emotion in the room i wondered if i was even that mad about my life it felt like hell. I remember the disgusting bathrooms and having to call strange men father. And the only way to level up in the program was for a student council to vote u up. Me being 12 and extra shy and not a very good speaker at the time it was very hard for me. I repeatedly got denied in the voting system. To the point i a hated the student council. I just didn’t understand if i had had the power to vote yes and one of my peers went home sooner i would have voted yes every time. We would get in trouble for minor things like not cleaning our rooms good enough i even got in trouble for masturbating once and the place was run by Mormons so thats somehow a sin but i was 12 or 13 as a grown man now i think thats natural and if i was to catch my son id laugh i wouldn’t punish him for it. And the punishments were extreme they called it “worksheet” we literally had to sit on a bench but only on the very edge of it i believe the exact measurement was only 2 inches on. There we would have to listen to more tapes these were more about history which i admit i liked these tapes better.they would also take us out in the courtyard and make us do extensive works to the point i threw up on multiple occasions. Not to mention that the whole area was made of astro turf and when u ran on it it would literally slice threw the skin.i also remember them making us get on our hands and knees and finger pick this astro turf with our bare hands i guess we were vacuum cleaners or something. Which reminds me that the only way for us to sweep our bedroom floors was a broom i failed the inspections quite a few times and ended up in work sheet. The most strange part about the whole experience is there were nights i think i was drugged it wasn’t till years later that i had flashbacks of this time period in my life and i specifically remember standing in a cold room in just my underwear with a guard named Arturo standing there smacking us on our heads and yelling at us. We were allowed to write home but the group manager named oliva read all our mail and if we asked to come home that was considered manipulation if we talked about how bad the program was that was manipulation it was not allowed and the flat out wouldn’t send the letters the worst punishment you could receive was R&R the consisted on a very small room where you had to lay on your stomach with your feet in the air i remember them putting a 2 liter bottle on my head and when it fell they kicked me this happened multiple times before i guessed the realized that it wasn’t gonna stay my head aint flat. I don’t like to talk about it much i cant even explain the amount of stress i still feel because of that place i almost didn’t write a whole story all i wanted to write “was it was hell”