MY NAME IS KYLE [REDACTED] MY PARENTS SENTENCED TO CASA THE DAY AFTER MY 13TH BIRTHDAY THE YEAR OR SO LEADING UP TO THIS DAY HAD TO BE COMPLETE HELL FOR MY PARENTS I HAD LOST MY OLDER BROTHER TO AN OVERDOSE IN JANUARY AND IT WAS NO WHERE FOR ME TO GO EXCEPT DOWN HILL FAST I WAS IN AN OUT OF JUVY 3 TIMES, SMOKING METH DAILY AND MANY OTHER THINGS A 12 YEAR OLD HAD NO BUSINESS DOING. SO NATURALY MY PARENTS WERE LOST, WE ALL KNEW MY NEXT STOP WOULD BE CALIFORNIA YOUTH AUTHORITY OR CYA (A PRISON FOR MINORS). BECAUSE THATS WHAT THE JUDGE HAD PROMISED IF HE SAW ME AGAIN. MY PARENTS CONVINCED ME I NEEDED HELP I KNEW I NEEDED HELP THEY SOLD ME PROBABLY THE SAME LIE THEY WERE SOLD ABOUT A BEAUTIFUL RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT FACILITY IN MEXICO IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE A VACATION THEY SAID. IT WAS A NINE MONTH PROGRAM AS LONG AS I GOT BETTER THEY PROMISED ID BE HOME MONTHS BEFORE MY 14TH BIRTHDAY. SO MY DAD AND I HOPPED IN THE TRUCK AND DROVE FROM THE BAY AREA THROUGH THE NIGHT TO ENSENADA MEXICO. THE LONGEST QUITEST 9 HOURS OF MY LIFE. NOW MY PARENTS WERENT MONSTERS AND SINCE THE PLACE WAS IN MEXICO MY DAD WANTED TO SEE THE PLACE FOR HIMSELF BEFORE HE SINGNED MY LIFE AWAY. WE PULL UP TO CASA AT LIKE 9 AM DAD KNOCKS ON THE DOOR HE SAID THAT THEY CALLED AHEAD AND THEY SHOULD BE EXPECTING US SO SOME UGLY DUDE WITH THE WORST CLEFT LIP I HAVE EVER SEEN ANSWERED THE DOOR ASKED WHO WE WERE AND WITH A PUZZLED LOOK ON HIS FACE SLAMMED THE DOOR HELLA FAST AND LEFT US OUT THERE. 30 MIN LATER A WHITE GUY ANSWERED THE DOOR I THINK HIS NAME WAS PAUL WITH A BIG SMILE COME ON IN. HE SHOWED US AN EMPTY CLASS ROOM AN EMPTY CHOW HALL AND THEN BROUGHT US UP TO THE UPPER LEVELS HALL WAY WERE ALL THE KIDS LOOKED GENUINLY HAPPY LAUGHING PLAYING AROUND. OF COURSE HE DIDNT MENTION THAT I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO GO THERE AGAIN FOR ATLEAST 3 MONTHS IF I WAS A PERFECT PROGRAM BOT. AND THAT I HAD TO WIN A POPULARITY CONTEST AND GET APPROVED BY ALL THESE KIDS THAT HAD A FALSE SENSE OF POWER AND AUTHORITY AND WERE PUT THROUGH BULLSHIT BY THE UPPERLEVELS BEFORE THEM AND FELT LIKE THEY HAD TO PASS THE ABUSE ON DOWN THE LINE I GUESS. SO ANYWAY MY DAD APPROVES OF THE LIE THEY FED US AND GETS ON HIS WAY AND NOT THREE MIN LATER IM GETTING STRIP SEARCHED MY HEAD SHAVED FREEZING NAKED ALL WHILE GETTING SCREAMED AT IN SPANISH AND PUSHED AROUND INTO SHOWER BY A HUGE MEXICAN DUDE AND MR CLEFT LIP FOR IT FELT LIKE AN HOUR TILL THEY FINNALLY STOPPED TOSSED ME A FACE TOWEL TO DRY OFF WITH SOME BROWNISH DRESS PANTS AND A BLUE BUTTON UP SHIRT
WHILE THEY WENT AND GOT TWO MORE GUYS TO POINT AND LAUGH AT ME BECUASE I WAS BALLING MY BRAINS OUT REFUSING TO DO ANYTHING ELSE THEY ORDERED UNTIL I GOT TO CALL MY MOM BECUASE THEY LIED TO MY PARENTS AND I FELT LIKE IF MY DAD GOT TO THE BORDER I MIGHT NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN THATS HOW TERRIFIED I WAS. THAT MADE THEM LAUGH EVEN HARDER THEN THEY STARTED TO GET REAL PHYSICAL WITH ME AND MIND U I HAVE NEVER BEEN A SMALL KID ALWAYS THE TALLEST HEAVYST IN MY CLASS SO I GOT PHYSICAL RIGHT BACK WITH ONE OF THEM THEY TRIPPED AND FELL. AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I DEFFENDED MYSELF PHYSICALY FROM THEM. THEY BEAT THE BRAKES OFF ME FOR I DONT KNOW HOW LONG BUT IT SEEMED LIKE FOREVER. BLOODY AND BRUISED FROM HEAD TO TOW THE CARRIED ME TO THE THIRD FLOOR TO THIS EMPTY BEDROOM SIZED ROOM WITH NO WINDOWS NO FURNITURE JUST 1 PLASTIC LAWN CHAIR 1 DOOR AND 4 WHITE WALLS. THEY TOLD ME TO SIT 6 INCHES FROM THE WALL FACING THE WALL INDIAN STYLE OR ON MY KNEES. AND AT THIS POINT MY SPIRIT WAS COMPLETELY BROKEN I HAD NO FIGHT LEFT IN ME. SO I DID EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TOLD IF I BROKE POSTURE FOR A SECOND TO WHIPE THE BLOOD OFF MY NOSE AND FACE THEY WERE SITTING IN THE DOOR WAY WAITING TO SLAP THE TASTE OUT OF MY MOUTH. THIS WENT ON FOR ILL NEVER FORGET 5 MEALS LUNCH DINNER BREAKFAST THEN LUNCH AND DINNER AGAIN AFTER THE FIRST DINNER I SLIPT OUT OF PERFECT POSTURE FALLING ASLEEP ONLY TO BE WOKEN UP BY MY HEAD BOUNCING OFF THE WALL. I REMEMBER THIS TERRIBLE MOMENT IN MY LIFE SO VIVIDLY I COULD TELL U WHAT EACH MEAL WAS. I THINK MY BRAIN KNEW THAT THIS WAS TO BE THE BEGINING OF THE WORST YET MOST DEFINING TIMES OF MY LIFE. AFTER THE SECOND DINNER THEY TOOK ME TO SHOWER AGAIN AND BROUGHT ME TO WHAT THEY CALLED MY NEW FAMILY RESPECT FAMILY. THE SO CALLED “FATHERS” WERE CHRISTIAN AND VICTOR MOLINA. CHRISTIAN REMINDED ME OF ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT GOT PICKED ON HIS WHOLE LIFE SO AS SOON AS THEY GOT A LITTLE POWER COULDNT WAIT TO MAKE SOMEONE AS MISSERABLE AS HIM. VICTOR ON THE OTHER HAND WAS GENUINLY A DECENT GUY HE CAME TO GET A CHECK TO PAY HIS BILLS AND WENT HOME HE WAS ALWAYS AS FAIR AS HE COULD BE I THINK HE WAS LITTERALY THE ONLY ONE THERE THAT WASNT A COMPLETELY TWISTED INDIVIDUAL U COULD TELL ALL THE OTHER FATHERS LOOKED DOWN ON HIM FOR TREATING US LIKE HUMANS RATHER THAN THE RODENTS THEY SAW US AS. SO FINNALY GETTING TO SETTLE IN OUR BLOCK HAD WINDOW SHOTS RIGHT ON THE TOP OF A CLIFF WITH THE OCEAN BELOW I POKED MY HEAD OUT THE BARS LOOKED TO THE RIGHT AND OUT OF THE CLIFF WAS A HUGE PIPE WITH RAW SEWAGE JUST PUMPIN STRAIGHT INTO THE WATER HAHA. I WAS COMPLETELY SHELL SHOCKED BY EVERYTHING THAT WAS HAPPINING. SO I KEPT QUITE MOSTLY BACK IN SCHOOL I WAS NEVER ONE OF THE POPULAR KIDS I HAD A COUPLE FRIENDS ID KNOWN MOST MY LIFE AND OTHER THAN THAT I KEPT TO MYSELF NOT ANTI SOCIAL BUT DEFFINITLY NOT SOCIAL. SO ONE OF THE THINGS THAT U HAVE TO ACCOMPLISH TO “WORK” THE PROGRAM IS U HAVE TO CONVINCE UR NEW FAMILY WELL THE LEVEL 3’S IN UR NEW FAMILY ANY WAY THAT U WERE WORKING THE PROGRAM AS BEST U COULD BY NOT GETTING IN TROUBLE AND BY TELLING ON EVERYONE FOR EVERY LITTLE THING U COULD FIND. OR U COULD BE GOOD FRIENDS WITH ALL THE LEVEL 3’S IN UR FAMILY AND THEY WOULD LET U LEVEL UP REGARDLESS OF HOW UR WORKING THE PROGRAM. THE FASTER U LEVEL UP THE FASTER U GO HOME AND EVERY LEVEL COMES WITH A LITTLE MORE PERKS THAN THE LAST THE ONLY DIFFERNECE BETWEEN 1 AND 2 WAS CANDY BARS ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY. THE “COOL” KIDS IN MY FAMILY CAME UP WITH A WAY TO GET HELLA EXTRA CANDYBARS BY PUTTING FAKE NAMES ON THE LIST MOST OF THE STAFF COULD BARELY SPEAK ENGLISH LET ALONE REMENBER ALL OF OUR NAMES.. SO ME BEING ME STUCK ON LEVEL 1 FOR LIKE 3 OR 4 MONTHS GOT REAL BUT HURT COOL KIDS WERE GETTING 3 AND I WAS GETTING NONE SO THAT FUELED MY ANTISOCIALNESS EVEN MORE THEN I FOUND OUT THAT IT WASNT A 9 MONTH PROGRAM IN A PERFECT WORLD THAT WAS THE FASTEST U COULD GET THROUGH THE LEVELS AND DO THE SEMINARS AND GET TO GO HOME BUT LESS THAN %1 OF KIDS DID THAT. I WASNT THE YOUNGEST THERE BUT I WAS YOUNGER THAN MOST AND NOT KNOWING IF WAS GONNA HAVE TO COMPLETE THIS WHAT SEEMED LIKE IMPOSSIBLE TASK OF GRADUATING THE PROGRAM OR BE STUCK THERE TILL MY 18TH BIRTHDAY WAS DEVISTATING CAUSE EVEN IF THATS NOT WHAT UR PARENTS PLAN IS THEY COACH THE PARENTS TO SAY THATS THE PLAN TO FORCE U TO WORK THE PROGRAM. IF IT WASNT FOR THE COUPLE OF FRIENDS I DID MAKE I DONT KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE MADE IT AS LONG AS I DID BLAKE FROM TEXAS HAD A SISTER ON THE OTHER SIDE WAS ONE OF EM REAL GOOD DUDE.. CHAZ FROM SAN DIEGO DEMITRI FROM GREECE COULDNT STAND HIM BUT HE MADE THE DAYS GO BY, JAGGER FROM L.A. BRIAN MUNOZ R.I,P DIED IN A DUI ACCIDENT FEW YEARS AGO. SO BETWEEN THE CONSTANT CONSEQUNCES I WAS GETTING FOR TALKING WITHOUT THREE PEOPLE OR WITHOUT A LEVEL 3 PRESENT AND THE MANY MANY OTHER REDICULOUS THINGS U WERENT ALOWED TO DO ALL PUNISHABLE BY HAVING TO SIT ON A CHURCH LIKE BENCH IN PEFECT FORM AND POSTURE LISTINING TO TAPES ABOUT YOHAN BACH OR ABE LINCOLN FOR HOURS AND HOURS DEPENDING ON HOW MANY “CONSEQUENCES” U HAD TO WORK OFF. THE SCHOOL AND TEACHERS WERE A COMPLETE JOKE ALL THE TESTS HAD ANSWER KEYS PASSED AROUND WHEN U TOOK EM AT UR OWN PACE THE HOMEWORK U COULD LITTERALY WRITE RANDOM WORDS ON PAGES AND GET AN A BECUASE ONCE AGAIN THE STAFF BARELY SPOKE ENGLISH LET ALONE READ IT. BUT THE JOKE WAS ON ME WHEN I GOT HOME BECAUSE THE WHOLE YEAR OF SCHOOL I DID DIDNT COUNT BECAUSE IT WAS IN MEXICO THE ONLY CREDITS THEY DID LET ME KEEP WAS A SEMESTER OF SPANISH HAHA SERIOUSLY. SO ANYWAY BEING IN THE MOST DEPRESSED DEFEATED MINDSET I HAVE YET TO COMPLETELY SNAP ALL THE WAY OUT OF HAVING SEEN THINGS NO CHILD SHOULD EVER HAVE TO SEE OR GO THROUGH I DONT CARE IF IT WAS BABY HITLER CAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY WE WERE JUST KIDS AND THE PEOPLE WE WERE TOLLED GROWING UP THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK OUT FOR US REGARDLESS OF RACE OR WHERE U LIVED WERE DESTROYING ANY AND ALL TRUST I COULD EVER HAVE BY TREATING US LIKE THEY DID. THEN ONE CLOUDY DAY THE ARMY SHOWED UP BROUGHT ALL KIDS AND FAMILYS TO THE YARD DID A HEAD COUNT AND SAID TO THE STAFF EVERY VISA IS REVOKED U HAVE 72 HOURS TO GET THEM OUT OF MEXICO. HAHA ONE OF THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE THE DAY I GOT DEPORTED FROM MEXICO. THAT PLACE WAS WORSE THAN ANY COUNTY JAIL OR PRISON I HAVE EVER BEEN TO I WOULDNT SEND MY KID ANYWHERE NEAR A PLACE LIKE THAT AND IF UR THINKING OF SENDING UR KID SOMEWHERE MY ADVICE IS DONT GIVE UP YET BECAUSE THEY ARE WORTH IT AND SENDING UR KID AWAY INTENTIONALY OR NOT ITS GOING TO BURN THAT INTO HIS OR HER BRAIN THAT THEY JUST WERNT WORTH IT I KNOW ITS STILL BURNED IN MY BRAIN 20 YEARS LATER MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAD WAS NEVER THE SAME I DONT EVEN TALK TO HIM ANY MORE… CAUSE IF IM NOT WORTH IT HES NOT WORTH IT
