I was only 13, when I was in a short term residential. The minute I got out, was the moment I was told I was not going home. That same day, I was being driven to Mexico for a long term residential. It took many hours due to traffic and border control. I was driven there by my mother and brother (who was accompanied by his girlfriend as well). By the time we got there, it was already nighttime, and when I stepped in, it felt like an interrogation. The moments my parents left the building, the institute was in chaos. They closed the main door and glass started to shatter and screams were heard. Boys’ upstairs were being restrained and yelled at. My first night there, there was no staff to monitor, but rather police due to a dangerous student there. Police remained there for another 2 days.
Usually these restrains ended up with the client saying, “get off of me!” “I can’t breathe!” “Help me!!” “Stop it! You’re hurting me!!” And even at one point, a student there had his front tooth knocked off due to an aggressive restrain.
I was informed of the special words we used like “girls’ family” “Boys family” “code red” “Upper level” “lower level” and many more
My first month there, I switched rooms into what was the smallest room with the “lower level” bathroom. My roommates were both older than me by a few years, one of which was 17 and the other 16. One hid in the bathroom and the other one told me to go to “sleep”. She proceeded to lie to this man who spoke little English, saying that the other one in the bathroom was “Showering” and I “was asleep”. He proceeded to ask her questions that I couldn’t make out or understand. When I woke up, there was a box mod in our bathroom, and she told me that she let him touch her so she could get drugs. He left a letter to another student (who is now no longer with us) saying that he would come back for her and that he loved her and proceeded to call her “my little bunny” multiple times throughout doing so. The student of which it was directed to, snuck into my room and because she was an upper level I had no say in it. She turned the paper into the director who just threw it away and fired the man not knowing he made threats to shoot us if we ever dare spoke about this. He also gave drugs to various other students in the “boys family”. We ended up changing our schedule due to safety concerns since he was with us 24/7. He was a free man, and could see us at any time, but that concerned no one at all. Many times, we would see him walking down the street while we were in the van, and we would all duck down in fear he would spot us. His name was Mr. Raul.
I never had any issues with being restrained. However, the moment you become an upper level, it’s a “must” to restrain others. My first restraint was when a staff member refused to help me, and I had my roommate scream in my face that she would kill me, torture me, fight me, strangle me in my sleep, and tried to bite me in the process several times saying so angrily how much she hated me. I stayed on top of her, holding her down with so much fear as my other two roommates watched me struggle and yell at staff. Eventually, they zip-tied all her limbs and picked her up and put her in what we knew as the “Choke-e”, it was a semi-padded room in the garage and staff would watch you with another student and a camera. Talking was not permitted, and disobedience would cause a longer stay within the Choke-e.
There are many things that they did wrong, absolutely. But the worst of them all was the times upper levels had to clean the dropping blood of others.
They didn’t give us gloves, or any supervision really. Mainly because we had to learn to be “responsible”. But there was at one point a student there dropped in the bathroom floor with blood all over her. I yelled and screamed and cried pleaded her to wake up, a staff member came and pushed away every girl who watched this unfold. When she woke up, they told me to clean up all the blood from the floors, the walls, the toilet, sink and her body. They told me to find every cut she inflicted onto herself, and later gave us a female staff member to confirm the information. I had blood on my clothes and I didn’t “go to school” either that night. I was told to stay and watch and talk to her. This happened due to a suicide attempt after finding out my roommate hung herself with my jacket and was unconscious and dying in the hospital.
This was not the first occurrence of blood-cleaning on students ends.
Upper levels also had to make reports on every student every night and turn it in.
Besides the negligence on students like this, staff members were also hurt, such as being bitten (to an extremity of having chunks of their arms or legs torn off of them) by other students, or even being jumped. Some staff, other than Mr. Raul gave and sold drugs and alcohol to students, and some staff were homeless and also slept in the institute of the room known as “room 6”
There was a boy there who also suffered the worse. He had bruises all over his back and rest of his body. He was 12, and we would see him get mercilessly and painfully restrained. He would cry and try to find comfort in anybody he could before they could drag him into the “Choke-e”. He remained there every day for weeks at a time, not leaving unless he needed to use the restroom. He never complained, but one day his parents found out and came very nicely to SBA and got us all pizza and proceeded to scream in Dr. Hugos face (he’s also known as Mr. Wright) the psychologist, therapist and family therapist.
Other than sometimes people being punished and sleeping in the Choke-e, there was also sleeping out in the hallway. Sometimes they say you can have your mattress and a blanket to sleep out there, this was usually because of suicide watch. But if you did bad enough, you slept on a yoga mat with nothing in that same hallway. You were not permitted to be in your room, or socialize with anyone, compliance to fail meant punishment for others as well. There was also room-ops, where you were not at ALL permitted to speak to anyone, and you remained on a yoga mat behind a taped line in the girls-family hallway. If one word were to be spoken, more days would be added to this yoga-mat punishment. Leaving the yoga mat without permission was also a way to get punished. SBA was highly neglected, and we had no power sometimes and our walls were cracking and ceiling was caving in on us.
at some point, we all slept in the hallways and living room because the rooms were so poorly maintained. The staff members also did not like to hear our complains and would shut them off immediately or punish us/take away the privileges we had there, such as sitting on couches, talking at tables, getting extra food, wearing clothes you want, etc. etc.
Little to say, when I went for my graduation day, everything was horrible. There were various people being restrained and many students who could not attend to see me. Many students were fighting, and the staff had little help despite have over 5 staff members which was highly unusual.
I tried various times to tell my mom what happened, and she always said “that’s just part of the programs plan” or “I don’t believe you”
I’m currently in therapy and it is much better and much more helpful. But when I speak of the horrors of SBA to another therapist, they see it for what it is.
A hell hole.
