I was sent to csa when i was 15, I spent 10 months there. I am 26 now. The people  came to  get me at night, one male, one female. They watched me change, and commented on my weight. They placed zip ties around my wrists, behind my back. My family was told to go into the back rooms of my house and close the doors. While I was in the car they asked me how to get some where, I told them if I new where we were going I could give better directions.  I was told they couldn’t tell me where we  were going.   The first weeks there were heart breaking. Everything was striped from me.  Over the time I was there I learned to live everyday as if it were the same.  If I told my parents more in the letters, then what I told the “room mother” then she had nothing to twist.  As a lower level, you  can only write letters to your family , which they read.  So even when your telling the truth, the room mother gets to your parents first.  While I was there , we had a girl  that had fallen out of her bed, from the top bunk , and  started sizing on the floor. The older women watching us at night said she was faking and never took her in to be checked by a doctor. There were other females there that had std’s , we  knew this because it was part of her “healing” to talk about it openly. The problem was that we  were forced to clean up the blood from the bathroom, with out gloves or other protection, blood from menstrual cycles. The food was terrible , we ate and had school in the same building, there were huge flies that consumed the room, they would land on your legs , all over your food, countless times I would have fried flies on my food. Speaking during lunch, dinner, breakfast,  morning actives, night actives, school, any other time other than group, and even then, if it wasn’t your turn, was out of the question. One night I witnessed a girl get off her bed with her full water bottle, walk over to another girl , who was asleep,  and hold her down while she poured the water down her throat.  I watched, unable to do anything.  It finally ended, and the night  people who were there, told her she was in trouble for speaking while on her bed. Nothing was ever done.  During one of the  seminars a guy confessed to having been part of a murder.  whether that was true , I don’t know.  Some of the girls there had been there for five years, some longer.  I know I’ll never forget my time there. Even tho names have been forgotten, and  my time there has been lost, theres so much more  to tell. I  hope others can find a different way to find help.